The talk show with Bouncers...
I love Jerry Springer's. If anything, TV is supposed to inform and entertain. The "inform" part's gone down the toilet because of the news channels (30-40 and counting). The number of news channels is like the space meter on GMail login screen...
Save those grey cells.. you aint getting any younger. But since getting reporters into places outside the 4 metros means all kinds of pains like equipment and people, they usually focus on the shit happening in the 4 major cities. Make that 2 major cities - Delhi, Bombay... what was the last time anything great happened in Chennai or Calcutta... and when did it influence us in Delhi. In fact, fuck bombay too. If it's happening in Delhi (close to the studio is better), then it's worth showing. For the rest of India, there's Google news and the internet. Blogs are good.... read off blogs and even start your own New Blog. CNN IBN does blogs. They're so cool.. CITIZEN JOURNALISM is the way to go! Get off it Assholes! If I wanted to do my own journalism why am I giving my precious eye ball time to your advertisments?
Hire some people, get some camera gear and go look for newses. And can we have some educated people in front of the camera please... who can PRONOUNCE correctly in HINDI at least... Sure the ex-criminal in-the-street-news-anchor can connect to the "masses" but FUCK! what happened to those good old days when people on TV were supposed to be good looking? Real life is full of ugly people... TV is alternate reality... we're supposed to look at good looking people and then feel sad that we're so ugly. Forget being shallow... look at news anchors... look at aaj tak news anchors... if u met these sad asses on a DTC bus u wouldnt look twice in their direction and suddenly we're supposed to take their word as to what's happening in the country?
Fuck you bearded bastard, get someone good looking... people pay more attention to good looking people it's a fact. Look at US presidents... believe WANT to believe a good looking person... Now George W isnt all that good looking.. but what were the options? John Kerry's face looked like a shriveled dead puppy.. who'd vote for him? Who'd believe anything he said. Fuck Kerry!
Coming back to pronounciations... LOOK. It's TV, it's not newspapers.... when you're on tv we have to suffer the misery of looking at your ugly mug.. should our ears also suffer? There are courses out there which help improve your talking skills... at least learn the difference between the hindi equivalent of Z and J . THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT ALPHABETS FOR A REASON. Aaz tak, sabse tej. FUCKERS!!!! Learn to pronounce Z or DIE!
Anyway... rant went off from the topic. The topic being... Jerry Springer! I love that show... well to be honest, I dont watch it, for the simple reasons a. We dont get it here, b. I dont watch TV and c. Apart from the fights I'm sure it sucks ass.
I'm talking about fights though. What is America's problem? Solve this shit at home people... your girlfrend's going around with 5 other guy and maybe 2 girls and the only place you found to sort out this issue is on national TV with all the white trash, poor black and out of job losers watching? I'm sure all the fights are staged anwyay, but it makes good fun. Fun part being the orchestrating up to the fight part...
And again the bouncers. They jump in pretty quick to stop the fight. Usually after the first 2 punches are thrown. It s a good thing... no use having a full fledged fight going on the studio... several reasons... biggest one being we've seen so many movies that we expect real life fights to be like that. The truth however is that nearly everyone has NEVER been in a hand to hand fight at all. Everybody thinks they can hold their own in a fight and sure they know a few tricks.... but fact is... MOST MEN HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT. And no one can have a sustained fight anyway... usually one punch or one kick and fight's over... that's the cruicial point where the bouncers come in and save the day (and grace).
Women fighting is different... that get more response from the audience, and usually lasts longer. Cause at least one woman's got some other woman's hair firmly in her grasp with no intention of letting go easily. Cat fights are so much cooler... usually starts with slapping and ends in hair pulling and all fun things...
So anyway, I wish we had an Indian equivalent of Jerry. We can get so many people in it... they bring in the KKK... we can have some RSS toughies on one side and get some maulana folks, they can battle it out on TV. Beat the shit out of each other.... we'll have more viewership than KBC and saas bahu soaps combined. And it's good fun.. how can people watch those soap operas! Huge ugly women with face painted with latex and huge bindis and evreyone's talking to each other while facing the camera, while cunning editing (called slow motion) strecthes on tea drinking scene to 2 episodes.
Anyway, so I vote for having an Indian version of Jerry Springers. We have a series called The Big Fight anyway, we'll call this the Real Big Fight. And we'll have bouncers.
A most excellent collection of Jerry Springer's Fight scenes (Bad language and some nudity alert)
MAD TV's spoof on FIGHT LIKE A GIRL CLUB. Also excellent.
Over 35.566 news channels (and counting) of free in your face news so you'll never need to read the newspaper, or form your own opinion.
Save those grey cells.. you aint getting any younger. But since getting reporters into places outside the 4 metros means all kinds of pains like equipment and people, they usually focus on the shit happening in the 4 major cities. Make that 2 major cities - Delhi, Bombay... what was the last time anything great happened in Chennai or Calcutta... and when did it influence us in Delhi. In fact, fuck bombay too. If it's happening in Delhi (close to the studio is better), then it's worth showing. For the rest of India, there's Google news and the internet. Blogs are good.... read off blogs and even start your own New Blog. CNN IBN does blogs. They're so cool.. CITIZEN JOURNALISM is the way to go! Get off it Assholes! If I wanted to do my own journalism why am I giving my precious eye ball time to your advertisments?
Hire some people, get some camera gear and go look for newses. And can we have some educated people in front of the camera please... who can PRONOUNCE correctly in HINDI at least... Sure the ex-criminal in-the-street-news-anchor can connect to the "masses" but FUCK! what happened to those good old days when people on TV were supposed to be good looking? Real life is full of ugly people... TV is alternate reality... we're supposed to look at good looking people and then feel sad that we're so ugly. Forget being shallow... look at news anchors... look at aaj tak news anchors... if u met these sad asses on a DTC bus u wouldnt look twice in their direction and suddenly we're supposed to take their word as to what's happening in the country?
Fuck you bearded bastard, get someone good looking... people pay more attention to good looking people it's a fact. Look at US presidents... believe WANT to believe a good looking person... Now George W isnt all that good looking.. but what were the options? John Kerry's face looked like a shriveled dead puppy.. who'd vote for him? Who'd believe anything he said. Fuck Kerry!
Coming back to pronounciations... LOOK. It's TV, it's not newspapers.... when you're on tv we have to suffer the misery of looking at your ugly mug.. should our ears also suffer? There are courses out there which help improve your talking skills... at least learn the difference between the hindi equivalent of Z and J . THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT ALPHABETS FOR A REASON. Aaz tak, sabse tej. FUCKERS!!!! Learn to pronounce Z or DIE!
Anyway... rant went off from the topic. The topic being... Jerry Springer! I love that show... well to be honest, I dont watch it, for the simple reasons a. We dont get it here, b. I dont watch TV and c. Apart from the fights I'm sure it sucks ass.
I'm talking about fights though. What is America's problem? Solve this shit at home people... your girlfrend's going around with 5 other guy and maybe 2 girls and the only place you found to sort out this issue is on national TV with all the white trash, poor black and out of job losers watching? I'm sure all the fights are staged anwyay, but it makes good fun. Fun part being the orchestrating up to the fight part...
And again the bouncers. They jump in pretty quick to stop the fight. Usually after the first 2 punches are thrown. It s a good thing... no use having a full fledged fight going on the studio... several reasons... biggest one being we've seen so many movies that we expect real life fights to be like that. The truth however is that nearly everyone has NEVER been in a hand to hand fight at all. Everybody thinks they can hold their own in a fight and sure they know a few tricks.... but fact is... MOST MEN HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT. And no one can have a sustained fight anyway... usually one punch or one kick and fight's over... that's the cruicial point where the bouncers come in and save the day (and grace).
Women fighting is different... that get more response from the audience, and usually lasts longer. Cause at least one woman's got some other woman's hair firmly in her grasp with no intention of letting go easily. Cat fights are so much cooler... usually starts with slapping and ends in hair pulling and all fun things...
So anyway, I wish we had an Indian equivalent of Jerry. We can get so many people in it... they bring in the KKK... we can have some RSS toughies on one side and get some maulana folks, they can battle it out on TV. Beat the shit out of each other.... we'll have more viewership than KBC and saas bahu soaps combined. And it's good fun.. how can people watch those soap operas! Huge ugly women with face painted with latex and huge bindis and evreyone's talking to each other while facing the camera, while cunning editing (called slow motion) strecthes on tea drinking scene to 2 episodes.
Anyway, so I vote for having an Indian version of Jerry Springers. We have a series called The Big Fight anyway, we'll call this the Real Big Fight. And we'll have bouncers.
A most excellent collection of Jerry Springer's Fight scenes (Bad language and some nudity alert)
MAD TV's spoof on FIGHT LIKE A GIRL CLUB. Also excellent.
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