The ever present ubiquitous Indian House Lizard. They're in our bedrooms, they accompy us to the bathroom, they're hiding behind the closet door, they're in your kitchen, in the dining room, they're crawling over your utensils, they're scampering away among your desk stuff.. to put it mildly, they are FUCKING everywhere!

Goddam them to hell the TOP reason why i hate summers is not the 50 degree C temperatures but because these spawns of satan rise up form their hibernation and start running around the house!

Sure supposedly they're more scared of us then we are of them, they say. Sure, they're puny and we're bigger, they say. The point being... they evolved without human intervention didnt they? I mean.. fuckin reptiles came before mammels didnt they? Well go live in the fucking wilderness then. It's been sitting on my door for 2 hours and not moving although i'm shouting, stamping and waving things at it. This usually worked with most lizards till now but this particular one is either:

1. Blind and Deaf
2. Got more balls than the rest of them combined.. or more likely,
3. Havent faced the consequences yet, of pissing off the speciy at the top of the food chain.

Now I'm all FOR peacefull coexistence with animals, mosquitoes are no problem, all creatures of God need food to eat and if some mosquito is sucking a little blood, no harm done. It's all a risk... But these fuckers.. NO they're different..

Look at it...



It's smiling!! They arent natural.. they're just snake with legs!! What with the forked tongue and all.. they're poisounous.. and they talk! O YES LIZARDS TALK.. they make a loud cliking noise. And if u make the same noise, they talk to you. (Not in English you wierdo). Snakes wouldnt do that, they just wanna kill u.

But these slithering, slimy bastards... kill em all.. a final solution. Well, keep a few for research or whatevre, propogation of the speciy or whatever, take em out from my home please.

When a person is taking a dump in the loo, the most important thought on his mind shouldnt be "is there a lizard under the sink". No sir.. i think it's the so called DOCILE nature of these house lizards that people arent as strict about them. i mean, if they hissed and attacked evreyone in sight, ppl would feel different. BUT NO! 90% of the human population who doesnt suffer from severe lizard phoebia are indifferent about this menace.

They dont understand.. ugh.. its not that they're ugly (which they are), its that... they're.. ugh.. slimy and slithery... and u konw... they scamper around.. ugh..

Was googling about getting rid of lizards... and guess what the ppl are saying.. they say.. dont get rid of them, let mother nature be.. lizards help in controlling your pesticide intake becuse they eat the insects.


Whatever logic that was... well fuck mother nature, mother nature ends at the doorstep of my room.. inside aint a jungle.

Another solutoin was to get a cat.

A C...A...T......

Here's some info on lizard phobias: From here:

Onset of fear started in childhood in 118 (94.4%) and 3 (2.38%) in adulthood. 32 people exactly remembered the triggering incidence. Family history of similar fear was present in 49 (38.9%) and absent in 77 (61.11%).

Lizard was the most commonly feared in 74 (58.75%) followed by cockroaches in 64 (50.79%) and rats in 34 (26.98%)

That's true, i've been shit scard of lizards for ever... family history too....

Screaming was present in 110 (87.3%), avoidance in 63 (50.7%), help seeking in 61 (48.41%), panic reaction in 34 (26.9%) and others like immobilization in 3 (2.38%)

Well I've never screamed.. at least not OUT LOUD, but i YELP in my head, if thats a consolation. And never been immobilized, except like rightnow when it's FUCKING sittign right on the door!!

28% felt the fear was excessive or unreasonable, 28 (11.2%) felt that fear was interfered in their daily routine and 20 (8%) realized both the fear as excessive and unreasonable and interfered with daily routine

Yeah well.... excessive and unreasonble fear is a relativ term. And yeah it DOES interfere, if only as mildly as checking every door u open for lizards.

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Also, some geniuses proposed to use traps for capturing lizards.. hell, nuke the fuckers!

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 20, 2005 at 8:05 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.