Nerdy geeky jokes..
Two strings walk into a bar. The first says, "Bartender, bring me a beer."
"Sure thing, string," says the bartender.
The second string says, "I'd a like a beer too.*#50Dlkoe@#4->koid4oib 098ad#)@s@kiu opid)(@g8LD3=_#@0...", spewing gibberish until he falls down unconscious.
The first string pipes up, "Excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."
---
A 32-year-old Haitian male walks into a bar.
He presents with ankylosing spodyarthirits and a duck under his arm. He tells the bartender, "My serum alkaline phospatase is elevated with .05 mg/L of meperidine in my plasma and I bet $100 my duck can shit into a shotglass ten feet away."
The bartender says, "Is this just an ordinary duck who has not been administered a dose of Baclofen or Cyclobenzaprine?"
The Haitian says "Well, lumbar puncture has been performed and revealed gram-negative cocci and decreased leukocytes, but other than that, it's an ordinary duck."
"You got a bet if I can perform a rectal biopsy and independent bloodwork."
"Of course."
The bartender puts a shotglass on the bar about seven feet away indicating either excessive confidence or a partial loss of visual acuity. The duck passes a reddish, gelatinous-looking stool right onto the bar and nowhere near the shotglass. The bartender laughs and says, "Either you're the dumbest ankylosing Haitian I ever met or you're suffering from cerebral hemorrhage."
The Haitian, without increase in BP, pulls out a hundred dollar bill and says, "I may be a dumb ankylosing Haitian, but I just bet those first-year interns in the corner 500 bucks a piece I could get my duck to shit all over your bar and you'd laugh about it."
The duck is most likely suffering a deficiency of:
A. Ceftriaxone
B. Erythromycin
C. Methicillin
D. Tetracycline
E. Vancomycin
------
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: A fish.
----
An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two-story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. He challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."
----
3 statisticians are out bowhunting. They spot a deer. The first one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the right of the deer. The second one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the left of the deer. The third one says, "We got him!"
----
Mrs. Noah Webster walked into her bedroom to find her husband in bed with his mistress. "Noah," she cried, "I'm surprised!"
"No," he replied calmly. "You are shocked. I am surprised."
----
"Sure thing, string," says the bartender.
The second string says, "I'd a like a beer too.*#50Dlkoe@#4->koid4oib 098ad#)@s@kiu opid)(@g8LD3=_#@0...", spewing gibberish until he falls down unconscious.
The first string pipes up, "Excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."
---
A 32-year-old Haitian male walks into a bar.
He presents with ankylosing spodyarthirits and a duck under his arm. He tells the bartender, "My serum alkaline phospatase is elevated with .05 mg/L of meperidine in my plasma and I bet $100 my duck can shit into a shotglass ten feet away."
The bartender says, "Is this just an ordinary duck who has not been administered a dose of Baclofen or Cyclobenzaprine?"
The Haitian says "Well, lumbar puncture has been performed and revealed gram-negative cocci and decreased leukocytes, but other than that, it's an ordinary duck."
"You got a bet if I can perform a rectal biopsy and independent bloodwork."
"Of course."
The bartender puts a shotglass on the bar about seven feet away indicating either excessive confidence or a partial loss of visual acuity. The duck passes a reddish, gelatinous-looking stool right onto the bar and nowhere near the shotglass. The bartender laughs and says, "Either you're the dumbest ankylosing Haitian I ever met or you're suffering from cerebral hemorrhage."
The Haitian, without increase in BP, pulls out a hundred dollar bill and says, "I may be a dumb ankylosing Haitian, but I just bet those first-year interns in the corner 500 bucks a piece I could get my duck to shit all over your bar and you'd laugh about it."
The duck is most likely suffering a deficiency of:
A. Ceftriaxone
B. Erythromycin
C. Methicillin
D. Tetracycline
E. Vancomycin
------
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: A fish.
----
An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two-story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. He challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."
----
3 statisticians are out bowhunting. They spot a deer. The first one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the right of the deer. The second one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the left of the deer. The third one says, "We got him!"
----
Mrs. Noah Webster walked into her bedroom to find her husband in bed with his mistress. "Noah," she cried, "I'm surprised!"
"No," he replied calmly. "You are shocked. I am surprised."
----
This entry was posted
on Sunday, August 21, 2005 at 1:46 AM.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
» Post a Comment