Now what?
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Mutton Eaters
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
"Mutton-eaters cant play garba", says this article in Hindustan Times.
The Shiv Sena has warned Muslim youth not to participate in festivities — particularly the dancing — during the nine days of Navratri.
“We may allow Muslims as onlookers, but on the dance floor, strictly not. That is forbidden in Hindu custom,” declared a statement in the party mouthpiece Saamna on Monday.
“How can you allow mutton-eating youth inside a temple during such a holy period?” he told HT, when asked to explain the logic of the ban.
*Sigh* If only these people would leave their mutton chomping habits for a measly 9 days, they might be eligible for a most excellent time dancing round and round all night.
-- from willem velthoven
But they just cant leave their mutton alone. The SS didn't say anything about chicken though. Colonel Sanders will be pleased... or KFC outlets in Mumbai might get ransacked every year during Navratri.
Another cool quote from the news article actually made me laugh out loud... it said:
“This is not the party’s stand, it is Jaiswal’s individual opinion,” Saamna executive editor and Member of Parliament Sanjay Raut said in Mumbai. “We are not against all Muslims, only against those who don’t love India and obey the laws of the country.”
LOL! Yeah let's not let those who don't love India, partake in this most excellent all night dance extravaganza. Those mutton eating, India hating, commie scum.
-- from hpk
Garba was a big deal back in NID. You'd have non-Gujratis practicing for weeks and every night there'll be people from other institutes (IIM etc) coming in. Supposedly NID garba is famous there, for the same reason the non-dancing NIDians end up on the lawns there. The reason being, women:
-- from ratri 
-- from amrita b
And all were welcome. Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Buddhists, Jains and Parsis (Yes there WERE Buddhists and Parsis). In fact I remember one notice from the administration saying, Please consider the fact that outsiders come during these ceremonies, so please dress and behave accordingly and do not smoke.
Nowhere else could you find a bald headed, pierced face girl dressed in a backless choli and traditional gujrati dress smoking weed and talking filth. Too much of a cultural shock for non-NIDians.
Got Dignity?
Monday, September 25, 2006Some would say this is a terrible, some will say they're terrific. Behold the Business Bib for people who work from their home.
What the web cam will see
What anyone else in the room will see
How it'll look being used by normal people
(i.e. who dont look as good as the sculpted model above)
-- from businessbib
Liberty
Thursday, September 21, 2006
If you're going to San Francisco...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006.. Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people thereFor those who come to San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there
In the streets of San Francisco
Gentle people with flowers in their hair
Gentle people and extra long Stretch-Limo-SUVs stuck on the curvy roads.
Musically possessed child prodigies
Monday, September 18, 2006
He may be still wetting his bed but he can play a mean beat on the drums
[Link to youtube]
And this other kid MOST certainly wets his bed, but he can also, most certainly move his ass on the dance floor.
[Link to youtube]
Holy Crap !! What the hell are his parents feeding him? Milk and Speed?? Baby food sprinkeled with Ecstacy powder???? Satan's milk????? I wouldnt want to be near him when he's grown up... I wouldnt want to be near him NOW.
[Link to youtube]
And this other kid MOST certainly wets his bed, but he can also, most certainly move his ass on the dance floor.
[Link to youtube]
Holy Crap !! What the hell are his parents feeding him? Milk and Speed?? Baby food sprinkeled with Ecstacy powder???? Satan's milk????? I wouldnt want to be near him when he's grown up... I wouldnt want to be near him NOW.
.com shadi
An 18-year-old Muslim girl who fell in love with a Hindu boy on internet has fled her home in Britain against her parents' wishes and married him in India.
Nice story and it had been 1999 it would've made the newspapers but such things are common now.
Reminds me of another such internet wedding. This guy I knew met some girl from Iraq on the net. They talked regularly and I guess fell in love. So one this the guy leaves for Iraq without telling anyone from his family and went underground for a few months. No mail, no call no nothing.
Apparantly he had gone to talk to her parents and get married. Few months later he shows up back in Delhi, unmarried and rejected. Life had no meaning for him... for some time... then one day the girl arrives unannounced and ready to get married (against parents' wishes). They get married... and all is well for some time.... till her parents show up unannounced!
They threaten, police is called in and it's an international diplomatic incident. Then all is resolved and parents go back to Iraq, scorned.
Then all is well for some time. Then the girl goes back to Iraq to visit parents and convince them to get unscorned. She probably succeeded because she comes back with 75,00,000 rs as a gift from daddy. They buy a house and live happily ever after.
The next day, the rest of his gang get their computers hooked up, and take to searching and chatting with NRI women full time.
The vast global shave controversy
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Edit: There's some problem with the feed and it's only publishing a part of the post. Visit the blog for the whole thing.
It all started with a google ad about Gillette Fusion. The latestrazor, nay, "Shaving System" comes with not just 5 blades on the front, but two "trimming blades" on the back. The brings up the total to 7! Now anyone who buys this and still feels he's not being taken for a ride needs to reduce the number of blades to ONE, and slit his throat with it.
Let's go back to the beginings of the conspiracy. You'll excuse the spelling mistakes and the lack of hyperlinks to support every little detail, the links will be provided at the bottom.
Our great-grandfathers, when they woke up in the morning used to hack away at their man hairs with a straight razor.
These were also called the Cut Throat Razor.. for self explanatory reasons. But to paraphrase Douglas Adams, "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
They did the job well. Needed to be sharpened on those leather strip things and came in handy for self protection in countries where the Second Amendment didnt apply. You can still buy these razors in some places, your local grocery uncle shop does not stock it though. Or you can buy this very fine example of a gentlemans' accesory from classicshaving.com for only 400 dollars American. That's right, 20 thousand rupees Indian.... do I hear a few throats being cut?
But no matter how manly our forefathers were, nobody likes to get their throats cut early in the morning, and Mr Gillette invented the safety razor, to ensure that the men of the day can live with uncut throats and actually end up being forefathers, instead of being... DEAD.
Now here's where the conspiracy starts. The thing that makes a safety razor different from a cut-throat is not only is the razor shielded from the skin (only the edge is out), but you can change the blades when the old one dies out. You dont have to sharpen the damn thing before shaving.
A good business model also. The old cut throat once sold, remains sold. The company doesnt get any more sales from a buyer. Now in a safety razor, you get to sell the razor, then there's a constant demand of blades. Good business for Mr Gillette, good convinience for the shaver.
And for some time, everything was well in the world.
But how long can a good thing stay good... and pretty soon saying that even safety razors werent safe enough, we have those twin blade cartridge systems with both blades facing the same side.
They ruled for some time... with the disposable razors as an added convinience. For the price of a old fashioned blade, you can have a one piece disposable plastic razor. Sounds convinient, except for the terrible quality of blade, the extremly terrible quality of the plastic and the fact that this puny little block of plastic doesnt feel as deadly... as manly.... as solid as the old fashioned full metal safety razors.
This was probably the dark age of razors... and people of my age probably started with these as their first razor. First shave with these plastic babies and many male adolescents would have been asking God, WHY?? Why this curse on the male fraternity?? Why must we endure such pain and skin burn and cut pimples??
But things were to get better... as the smart people at the Global Gillette company had a few more innovations in this most excellent morning-hair-cutting-actuvity. This might, or might not, be related to the fact that the even smarter people at the Global Gillette's Sales Division has realised that the sales of their disposables had plateued and like everyone else in the world, they too are money worshipping whoremongerers.
Then came the Gillette Sensor! A brilliant design with twin blades mounted on springs that would easily glide over any uneven outgrowth on your face. Less cuts for sure, and they say a closer shave. I will now repeat this phrase, please pay attention, it will be repeated at every new invention from Gillette. The sensor "shaving system" gives you less cuts and "a closer shave".
It sold out! Everyone bought one. I bought one. It was nice. The only problem being blades were expensive. One blade was more than a hundred rupees, dont remember the exact price. And yes, none of these "Shaving Systems" are backward compatible, so if you were suckered into buying an expensive dual blade "shaving system" your spring mounted super expensive blades wont fit into that. Suffer, sucker.
So when the Sensor sales platued out on Gillete, they came out with another invention. The Sensor Excel! Bravo... the same spring mounted dual blade system, but with a strip of "MICROFINS" at the bottom, which suposedly raised the hair to get a..... you got it, "closer shave". Shaving is getting closer and closer by the minute now, blades however keep increasing in price.
Similar situation with the sales again, and BEHOLD!!! THE MACH3!
Not only was it spring mounted for a "close shave", it had *gasp* three blades! And not only did it have "microfins" for a "close shave", it had a strip of goo on the top which will moisturise your skin and do all kinds of things like fade out when the blade is gone (or sales plateu again).
So even if your blade is working fine but the strip fades out... throw the blade and buy a new set of expensive blades. I assume the blades are made out of steel? What dies first... steel or goo? Hmm.... I remember the ad for this... some fighter plane going around and a voice over saying "YOU take one stroke, it takes three" then some dude with a face that looks like its been waxed with boiling hot wax is there with a smirk on his face and a woman lovingly caressing his freshly "close shaved and auto-moiseturised" cheeks.
All in all this was a good "shaving system". The head swiveled, which was suposedly a feature, but I never got used to it. The only thing being, blades were too damn expensive! Around 350 for a pack of 2 blades. Remember it's not just a pack of two blades, it's - 6 blades, 6 springs, 2 moisturising goo strips and around 8-10 microfins. That's a lot of stuff for 350 rupees. One should be gratefull.
After some time they released the Mach 3 Turbo, which was the same shit in a new bottle, but had ONE more microfin. That's right, just ONE more microfin. And I bought it too. I bought all of their shit except Mach 3 Venus Divine, which was meant for women, or extremly sensitive men.
Not to be outdone, the competition had already launced Quattro 4, which had, YOU GUESSED IT, four blades. All in the noble cause of a "closer shave". At this point there was a public outcry about a razor "Arms Race" with Gillette and Wilkinson trying to outblade each other and The Onion came out with a article (link below) about Gillette's CEO saying, Fuck it, we're making a 5 blade razor. Little did they know Gillette also subscribed to The Onion's RSS feed.
They released the Gillette Fusion with 5 blades. Fusion it's called... Fusion of WHAT??? Five blades?? Here's the marketting blah about it:
It all started with a google ad about Gillette Fusion. The latest
Let's go back to the beginings of the conspiracy. You'll excuse the spelling mistakes and the lack of hyperlinks to support every little detail, the links will be provided at the bottom.
Our great-grandfathers, when they woke up in the morning used to hack away at their man hairs with a straight razor.
These were also called the Cut Throat Razor.. for self explanatory reasons. But to paraphrase Douglas Adams, "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
They did the job well. Needed to be sharpened on those leather strip things and came in handy for self protection in countries where the Second Amendment didnt apply. You can still buy these razors in some places, your local grocery uncle shop does not stock it though. Or you can buy this very fine example of a gentlemans' accesory from classicshaving.com for only 400 dollars American. That's right, 20 thousand rupees Indian.... do I hear a few throats being cut?
But no matter how manly our forefathers were, nobody likes to get their throats cut early in the morning, and Mr Gillette invented the safety razor, to ensure that the men of the day can live with uncut throats and actually end up being forefathers, instead of being... DEAD.
Now here's where the conspiracy starts. The thing that makes a safety razor different from a cut-throat is not only is the razor shielded from the skin (only the edge is out), but you can change the blades when the old one dies out. You dont have to sharpen the damn thing before shaving.
A good business model also. The old cut throat once sold, remains sold. The company doesnt get any more sales from a buyer. Now in a safety razor, you get to sell the razor, then there's a constant demand of blades. Good business for Mr Gillette, good convinience for the shaver.
And for some time, everything was well in the world.But how long can a good thing stay good... and pretty soon saying that even safety razors werent safe enough, we have those twin blade cartridge systems with both blades facing the same side.
They ruled for some time... with the disposable razors as an added convinience. For the price of a old fashioned blade, you can have a one piece disposable plastic razor. Sounds convinient, except for the terrible quality of blade, the extremly terrible quality of the plastic and the fact that this puny little block of plastic doesnt feel as deadly... as manly.... as solid as the old fashioned full metal safety razors.
This was probably the dark age of razors... and people of my age probably started with these as their first razor. First shave with these plastic babies and many male adolescents would have been asking God, WHY?? Why this curse on the male fraternity?? Why must we endure such pain and skin burn and cut pimples??
But things were to get better... as the smart people at the Global Gillette company had a few more innovations in this most excellent morning-hair-cutting-actuvity. This might, or might not, be related to the fact that the even smarter people at the Global Gillette's Sales Division has realised that the sales of their disposables had plateued and like everyone else in the world, they too are money worshipping whoremongerers.
Then came the Gillette Sensor! A brilliant design with twin blades mounted on springs that would easily glide over any uneven outgrowth on your face. Less cuts for sure, and they say a closer shave. I will now repeat this phrase, please pay attention, it will be repeated at every new invention from Gillette. The sensor "shaving system" gives you less cuts and "a closer shave".
Spring loaded blades = Good invention
Results in closer shave = WTF! HOW?
Results in closer shave = WTF! HOW?
It sold out! Everyone bought one. I bought one. It was nice. The only problem being blades were expensive. One blade was more than a hundred rupees, dont remember the exact price. And yes, none of these "Shaving Systems" are backward compatible, so if you were suckered into buying an expensive dual blade "shaving system" your spring mounted super expensive blades wont fit into that. Suffer, sucker.
So when the Sensor sales platued out on Gillete, they came out with another invention. The Sensor Excel! Bravo... the same spring mounted dual blade system, but with a strip of "MICROFINS" at the bottom, which suposedly raised the hair to get a..... you got it, "closer shave". Shaving is getting closer and closer by the minute now, blades however keep increasing in price.
Similar situation with the sales again, and BEHOLD!!! THE MACH3!
Not only was it spring mounted for a "close shave", it had *gasp* three blades! And not only did it have "microfins" for a "close shave", it had a strip of goo on the top which will moisturise your skin and do all kinds of things like fade out when the blade is gone (or sales plateu again).
So even if your blade is working fine but the strip fades out... throw the blade and buy a new set of expensive blades. I assume the blades are made out of steel? What dies first... steel or goo? Hmm.... I remember the ad for this... some fighter plane going around and a voice over saying "YOU take one stroke, it takes three" then some dude with a face that looks like its been waxed with boiling hot wax is there with a smirk on his face and a woman lovingly caressing his freshly "close shaved and auto-moiseturised" cheeks.
All in all this was a good "shaving system". The head swiveled, which was suposedly a feature, but I never got used to it. The only thing being, blades were too damn expensive! Around 350 for a pack of 2 blades. Remember it's not just a pack of two blades, it's - 6 blades, 6 springs, 2 moisturising goo strips and around 8-10 microfins. That's a lot of stuff for 350 rupees. One should be gratefull.
After some time they released the Mach 3 Turbo, which was the same shit in a new bottle, but had ONE more microfin. That's right, just ONE more microfin. And I bought it too. I bought all of their shit except Mach 3 Venus Divine, which was meant for women, or extremly sensitive men.
Not to be outdone, the competition had already launced Quattro 4, which had, YOU GUESSED IT, four blades. All in the noble cause of a "closer shave". At this point there was a public outcry about a razor "Arms Race" with Gillette and Wilkinson trying to outblade each other and The Onion came out with a article (link below) about Gillette's CEO saying, Fuck it, we're making a 5 blade razor. Little did they know Gillette also subscribed to The Onion's RSS feed.
They released the Gillette Fusion with 5 blades. Fusion it's called... Fusion of WHAT??? Five blades?? Here's the marketting blah about it: